The World of Grandpa Don

The Adoption Story of Harry Ronald Cecora (AKA Donald J Plefka) The Chronicles of Plefka/Cecora/Lossner/Copeland The following story is the story of birth, adoption, searching and the finding of roots and branches. It is my story. The page has been modified several times as events unfold and assumptions evolve into facts or are discarded based on new information.			Page updated 03/20/2008 12:34 PM
Journey on this page to ...
The Story of Harry Ronald Cecora aka Donald James Plefka
The Letter from Catholic Charities		Adoption Decree
Mystery Solved - June 17, 2006 My mother & her children are found The Cecora - Lossner part of the story But ... There is More! My Father & his children are found. The Copeland part of my story In Conclusion What does all this mean to me? The faces of six surviving siblings newly united.
Something of Interest
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On May 6, 1931, a baby was born at Evangelical Deaconess Hospital (sometimes known as German Deaconess) , Chicago, Illinois. His mother was divorced and his father was believed to be married. A relative (of mine) has said that he was a doctor and she was a nurse at the hospital. Someone else thinks that Florence may have been a doctor. (The assumptions of his marriage and their occupations were proved to be inaccurate in 2006. ) Obviously, the baby was a problem. He remained in the hospital while adoption was arranged.

Sylvia Plefka was admitted to the hospital and "lost" her baby. It was not the first time that it happened. Sylvia and Joe were told of Harry and decided to try to adopt him. They notified the adoption agency on May 26th and took the baby home on June 5th. The child had been at the hospital for a day short of a month. I don't know if it was common to do that at that time or if it was an arrangement made to accommodate his mother.

 I do not know if either of the natural parents met with Joe or Sylvia. 

On February 2, 1932 the adoption was approved by the Cook County court and the child, named by his mother, Harry Ronald Cecora became Donald James Plefka. ... Hay, that's me! It was decided that I would not be told of these events. The records were sealed according to Illinois law. 

It was in the Fall of 1962, married with two children and another on the way that Anne discovered the secrete. Having recently moved into a new home on Drake Ave, we found that Mr. & Mrs. Gedney who moved into the house next door had lived next to my parents in the early 30's. Anne and Mrs. G were talking about a family on the block who were adopting and a family that already had adopted children. Mrs. G then said, "Isn't it good that the Plefka's adopted Don". Seeing the startled expression on Anne's face, Mrs. Gedney made a quick excuse and retreated into her house.

Anne confided in her mother, ... not me. Through a friend of a friend, a copy of the original birth certificate and the adoption papers were obtained. Anne's mom destroyed the birth certificate because of the "Illegitimate" stamped on it. Anne was deeply hurt because she assumed that I knew and didn't tell her. Her hurt showed in her attitude toward me. I kept asking if something was wrong but for a long while she would say "nothing!" When it reached a boiling point after about six weeks, Anne answered my question with "Why didn't you tell me?" ... "Tell you what?" ... "That you were adopted!" My surprise was obvious. She realized that I was not aware of the adoption. She had to show the adoption papers to me in order to convince me. (See Adoption Decree)

After talking it over, we decided not to tell my mom that we knew and we kept her secrete. At that time, we only knew the basic facts that were on the adoption papers and decided not to try to find out anything else. When Dan, Anne Marie and Tom were old enough to keep the secrete, we told them. It was fortunate that we did because when Dan was in high school he met the daughter of a cousin of mine. She told him that since I was adopted, they weren't really cousins and could date. 

On March 8, 1992 mom died. At the funeral I let people know that I knew I was adopted. Some family members knew and that is when I was told about the possible professions of my birth parents. Many family members were surprised.

In 1994 I wrote to Catholic Charities for information. They of course would not give me information other than my mother's first name was Florence, her middle name was Lucille, she was divorced. A copy of their letter which includes some interesting details follows.

April 22, 1994 

Donald J. Plefka 
8148 West 157th ST. 
Orland Park, IL 60462 

Dear Mr. Plefka:

We have received your completed questionnaire. We fully understand and appreciate your need, as an adopted person, to know something about your biological heritage and the circumstances of your adoption. I am glad to be able to help you.

The Illinois Adoption Law allows the sharing of identifying information (e.g., names and addresses) only if both parties have consented in writing to the release of that information. We do not have your birth mother's permission, because we have had no contact with her since adoption consents were signed.

Our older records contain little detailed background information about birth parents. Years ago, record keeping was not as thorough as it is today. Also, at that time, people did not realize that adopted persons would, as they grew older, develop a very natural and normal curiosity about their biological heritages and the circumstances of their adoptions. In addition, most birth mothers were quite reluctant to share much information about themselves and their families because they felt a very deep need to protect their confidentiality, as single parenting did not have the social acceptance that it has today.

There is no medical information in our record. In the era when you were born, the medical community was not nearly as aware as it is now about the importance of genetics in disease processes. Thus, questions about family medical history were not asked of patients in hospitals or of birth parents. If our caseworkers were aware of any serious medical condition in birth parents or their families, they always noted it. There is no such information in our file about your birth mother. She was healthy.

Your birth mother's first name was Florence. Her middle name was Lucille. She was divorced.

This is the only information we have in our record.

Our caseworker noted that Florence had planned adoption for your future and arranged for temporary care in the newborn nursery at the hospital where you were born on May 6, 1931. It was Evangelical Deaconess Hospital at 5421 South Morgan in Chicago. This hospital later became Christ Hospital and moved to Oak Lawn, IL, where it is now located.

Your adoptive mother contacted our agency on May 26, 1931. She was in that hospital, having delivered a premature baby who died. She stated that she knew you were in the nursery and available for adoption, and she wanted to adopt you and only you.

Arrangements were made to obtain Florence's signature on the adoption surrender. Her signature was received by Evangelical Deaconess Hospital, on June 2, 1931. Our agency had no direct, personal contact with her. That is why there is no information about her. Her surrender arrived in our office on June 5, 1931, legally freeing you to be placed with your family. Your parents came to our office to pick up a letter stating that our agency would supervise your adoption. They then went to the hospital and brought you to their home as their son.

It was typical, in fact the norm, for adoptive parents, in years past, not to talk about adoption with their children, because they wanted to protect the child from an "unknown past." They believed that the less said, the better. Their own infertility and the extreme social stigma against illegitimacy were the basic factors in their decisions not to openly deal with adoption with their children. Now, adoption is handled in a much more open and honest way, which is healthier for all concerned.

I do hope that this letter has helped you to understand better your earliest beginnings.

Sincerely, 

Grace Welch
Caseworker, Post-Adoption Services

It is interesting to note that in my letter to Catholic Charities, I told them that I knew my original name and although they could not legally help to find my mother, they provided her first and middle name.

With the information I have it should not be difficult to trace my family. The question is, should I? In compromise, I am simply placing the facts, as I know them, out there for anyone to see. I respect my mother and father's privacy but if alive, they would at least be in their 90's. On the other hand, I would like to have them know I am grateful and I love them. How could I not love them? 

Do I have siblings? Or half-siblings? Or unknown cousins? And what are my roots? Relatives said that I am half Italian and half Irish. True? Cecora was a place in South Eastern Europe and has ties to Poland.  Does anyone know of Florence Lucille Cecora? I presume that was her last name and not my father's. Was Cecora her maiden name or her married name? For the answers ... read on.

Mystery Solved (... or so we thought)

On Monday June 12, 2006 I registered with The Adoption Database ( http://adoptiondatabase.org/index.htm ) and their "No-Find-No-Fee" dedicated search service. The following Saturday was notified that my birth family had been found. I was given contact information and after playing answering machine tag, I communicated with a new nephew, Kim Cecora by email. He had done an internet search and found this web site. The following day I spoke with Peggy Cecora, the wife of my brother, Jim. Brother Ken had died a few years previous. We are confident that I am the son of Florence Lucille Cecora of Ohio and have begun to become acquainted with my newly revealed roots and branches.

We assume that my father is also Jim and Ken's father because there were attempted reconciliations after the divorce in early 1930. I learned that my mother never used Florence as her name but was known as Lucile or Lucy and by many as Tootsie. Her maiden name was Lossner.My roots are in Italy, Germany and England. 

The initial meeting with my brother and part of the Cecora family occurred on July 2 & 3, 2006. You can see some of it at Cecora - Plefka  Reunion July 1-2 , 2006 .

This opened a whole new chapter in the Life of Grandpa Don. But not the last chapter by any means! ... Read on.

But ... There is More!

Both the Cecora's and I registered with the Illinois Adoption Registry, asking for the release of my birth records. This was done around the first of July (2006). Then several weeks after our second reunion  ( Cecora - Plefka  Reunion Sept 2-4 , 2006 ) there was a reply from Illinois Adoption. The call from Vickie came early on the morning of September 27th, 2006. They had finally found my records miss-filled under the name of my father, Alden Copeland! Dan Cecora was not my father and Jim & Ken were half brothers. Alden's occupation was listed as a surveyor for the Chesapeake Railroad. Copies of the documents were to be mailed to me that day.

After recovering from the news a call was made to the Cecora's to relate the news. As I spoke to Peggy she was immediately on the computer doing research. Later in an email she related that Jim knew Alden as a child for a brief time. Peggy also remembered that Tootsie (Lucy) told her that she saw Alden Copeland for a while but things didn't work out. She found a family of an Alden Copeland that lived in the area. Husband and wife were deceased but there were four daughters and a son. She was able to find addresses and phone numbers for several and wanted to contact them. I asked her to wait until I had the birth certificate in hand to verify spelling and any other clues that may exist.

Vicki had commented that my mother should have used her maiden name on the birth records, not her married/divorced name and that I should have been  named Harry Ronald Lossner. My Italian Ancestry was not correct.

The document from the Illinois Adoption Registry and Medical Information Exchange arrived on Saturday September 30. It was the birth record of an un-named male child on May 6, 1931 at Evangelical Hospital in Chicago, Illinois. Although the "administrative" document did not name the child the cover letter identified it as me,  through my adoption decree. It identified the mother as Florence Lucille Cecora age 26 and the father as Alden Cpoeland, age 31. It also identified the child as not legitimate. This information coupled with the adoption document I have in my possession identifying me as Harry Ronald Cecora and the letter from Catholic Charities which identified my mother as Florence Lucille, divorced, as well as the date and place of the birth, ties everything together and together, identifies all parties involved. I am the child of Florence Lucille Cecora and Alden Copeland.

When the Adoption Database had found my mother's family, they had made the initial contact with them. I had no idea how to do that with my father's children and since Peggy Cecora volunteered to handle it I left it in her hands. After all, she was there in Ohio closer to them and ... I was a coward and left it all in her hands. The news was a complete surprise to the Copeland family. I won't go into details but ultimately it was my brother John who first responded, then my sister Rita and after that I spoke with my sister's Marilyn and Irene. In my initial contact with John I learned that our sister Jean had recently died after a year long illness.

From being an "only child" I now have an older brother, a younger brother and three sisters. And there are additional family members to meet on both sides. Yes, I know they are "half" brother and sisters and the Cecora's aren't related to the Copeland's But ... they may be. It turns out that The Copeland family traces their ancestors back to John Alden and the Mayflower, a Copland having married a granddaughter of John Alden. But the Cecora family, through the Packard family ancestry also traces back to Massachusetts Colony and a connection to Plymouth. But all that is not as important as who we are now. I have always included my ancestors, no matter who they were and the ancestors of my adopted parents in my prayers in gratitude for their existence and the hardships they endured. Without any one of them ... where ... or who would I be?  

It was not until June of 2007 that I was able to make the trip to Cleveland to meet my sisters and younger brother. This is related on the page, Family Reunion
June 3, 2007

In Conclusion ...

 I simply wanted to find my family's roots so my children, grandchildren and beyond would know what brought them to where they now are. For myself it is helpful to have a family medical history. I certainly do not judge the indiscretions of my parents. I can not recommend it as normal behavior but I have more than mixed emotions. I owe my life to them and once conceived, I am grateful for the decision to give me life and then give me to a family that desperately wanted a child. My Children thank them. My grandchildren thank them. I feel I am leaving a positive mark on this world, a mark that would not be there if it were not for them. So, no matter what ... thanks to Lucie and Alden ... may God bless you and hold you close to his heart.

Should I have wanted them to marry and raise me as their own? Certainly not! I love my life as it is. And if they had, what would be of their families? Nothing would be the same. Life is what it is and there are no "what if's". We do not un-do our mistakes but we live with them and make the best of them. And ... who are we to even proclaim the actions of others as mistakes. I am convinced that the very best was made in this case.

In addition, I want to know my sisters and brothers and their families. I would like them to know their brother and his family. Any legal ties are gone ... wiped out by the adoption but ... we are family by blood and genealogy. That can never be destroyed. I would hope that, in addition to my siblings, my nieces, nephews and cousins would feel free to contact me and my family members through me

The Collage below was assembled after the June 3, 2007 initial meeting with the Copland side of my family:.

Jim Cecora                             Don Plefka                              John Copeland

Rita (Copeland) Barilla                   Irene Copeland                          Marilyn Copeland

Not pictured are Ken Cecora or Jean (Copeland) Rutzen, both recently deceased.

I invite you to read I am having the time of my life right now and the story about its publication at About the book & my involvement. To delve into the story of my life as it has unfolded go to How I Became Grandpa Don . And ... to learn about my family please visit the Family. pages. Included there, are the stories of the Plefka - Cecora Reunion #1, Plefka - Cecora Reunion #2 and the Plefka - Copeland Reunion.  My life is an open book ... a witness to the gifts God has given me. That includes both sets of parents. I love them and pray for them, for without them ... nothing would be the same ... and I love my life. My Current Events page  for Oct 6, 2006 includes the following:

There is no doubt about the fact that I have become obsessed by thoughts of my father and mother. What were they like? What was their childhoods like? What do their children remember about them? ... the stories they related to them ... What did they tell them of their grandparents? What were their hobbies, likes and dislikes?  I have looked up the census records but they only offer clues. When your imagination is allowed to roam based on small bits of information the possible range of results is infinitely large and the possibility of being correct is infinitely small. When I didn't know their names I did not have this problem but now that I do, my mind will not let it go.

It has been an amazing summer, one in which I have gone from being an only child to finding two brothers and my mother, and then my father and five additional siblings. My questions are beginning to be answered and as usual some answers bring additional questions. I have spoken to all my surviving siblings and am delighted that I have found them. Their wellbeing and that of their families can at last be included in my daily prayers by name.

By the bye, there is no conclusion  ... For more of the story as it is unfolding go to the CURRENT EVENTS page.

Don Plefka,
A.K.A. Harry Ronald Cecora
updated 10/16/2006

Something of interest.

When I sent emails to many of my family members, celebrating the call from John Copeland, my grandson Dominick was quick to reply with two of the links included in the L:inks of the Week for 10/13/2006. The first is the story of the famous John Alden if you want to refresh your knowledge of History.  ( John Alden ) The second is about the John Alden Museum. ( Alden Kindred  ) However, as Dominick pointed out, the remarkable thing about it is at the very bottom of the page, something he noticed, the divider ... a line with a sailing ship. It is the same graphic symbol I have used on this web site and is still found on the welcome page and notably on this page.

I had selected this graphic, (stole it from a website somewhere) as a symbol of life being a journey, an odyssey, always under sail, taking us to new places, opening new horizons. For a time it could be found on every page of the web site, used as a navigation tool. At that time a had a few, but very long, pages and clicking on (boarding) the ship transported the viewer to the top of the page. (I added the text to make it more user friendly.)  Now that I have reached the port wherein my family is found, my ship is there waiting. Life is not only full of surprises, it is full of coincidences, or is it something else?

Visitors to this page
starting 10/09/2006