The World of Grandpa Don  

I thought it was either a joke or a scam. The email came into my Spam box and it said our pastor is going to jail! But then I began getting emails from other members of the parish and from the parish staff. Rev. Steve Lanza is a wanted man!  Be sure to click on the start button for the news video to learn all about it. I sent in some cash for his bail but he needs more. Can you help out?

I have just read an email from a friend on the subject of terrorism and the Islamic faith. Most of the text was from Newt Gingrich, a man who's opinion I respect and value. I would like to comment regarding the Islamic faith but, following the rule, "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all", I should be reduced to silance. However, I must say that several of the Fathers of the Church regarded the Islamic faith as a heresy and more recently C. S. Lewis voiced the same opinion. They claim Jesus as a prophet but deny His Divinity. I agree that this is a heresy and, as such, it should be dealt with as a heresy. Many of their other religious beliefs impinge on moral values and human rights. In addition, they disavow the separation of church and state and to make things worse, advocate, no, insist, that the state is to be controlled by their religious beliefs.  In fact, it is their avowed purpose to replace and exclude all beliefs other than their own and of course all other governments as well. I appear to have violated the rule. So be it. I do not hate their people and pray that they will be enlightened and throw off the heavy yoke that their fanatical leaders have placed upon them. There was a time when we had a campaign to pray for Russia and its people. Now it is time to pray for the Islamic peoples. Maybe we will have another miracle.

My cousin Gay (Lossner) Wands sent A little known story. The story should be better known. On the page to which I have linked, it is followed by a parable that I love ... The two wolves that fight within us. Two great messages that we should all know. I also recently received a message regarding "People of Peace". This is something that I try to follow at all times. And, I have offered this before but It can not be offered enough. From me to you ... May you be Blessed

Alex Kapocius sent a bunch of graphs. This one is worth sharing with all you men out there. I can attest to its veracity from personal experience.

I, however, would rather see the title changed to "Probability that she thinks you have done something wrong". If Anne had any fault it was the common fault of most women. The husband is supposed to instinctively know what is bothering them. Of course we men realize that although we are gifted with many things, the ability to read minds is not one of them. I say that I know that the chart is highly accurate from personal experience and those experiences occurred many times during our marriage. The most grievous occasion was when Anne discovered I was adopted and (incorrectly) assumed that I knew about it but did not tell her about that little detail of my life. For weeks the hurt festered in her and it was so obvious that she was upset with me about something that I kept asking, "What's wrong?" The answered was always, "NOTHING!" The problem of course is exasperated when you have actualy done nothing wrong ... as in this case  ... a rare occasion ... and so you can not possibly guess what she may think you have done ... or didn't do.  Even when you have actually committed an offence like not being affectionate enough or of taking her for granted ... a very common occurrence ... the fact that we are (inherently) so dense as to be guilty of the offence should be enough to let her know that we can not possibly be aware of the infraction. (My dog, on the other hand lets me know when he wants to be scratched or petted and if I fail to do so, he never holds it against me.)

On further reflection and in defense of Anne, and all women, it is probably obvious that they think they can read the minds of their husbands and know their intentions so it follows that they would think we have been likewise blessed with the ability to read  minds. Unfortunately we have not, and are doomed to live with not only that disability but with the misconception of our mates.

 

Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed. ~ John Tarrant  . .

In spite of this one fly in the ointment of our marriage, I need to proclaim that my marriage to Anne was undoubtedly my greatest blessing. It was on July 30, 1955 that, in an extremely hot church with huge fans wiring in the background, we both vowed to love and cherish each other. And ... that is what we did. That day had been my dream and desire for about 8 years of a bumpy and very intermittent courtship. We were blessed with just short of 45 years of marriage, one with more bliss than bumps. It almost takes that long to realy get a couple to know each other, at least that's the way it seemed sometimes and I can also attest to the fact that it got better all the time. It took me many years to learn the truth of John Tarrant's quotation (above). It applies not only to marriage but to any relationship. Dale Carnage knew that when he said that to win friends and influence people you " ... must be genuinely interested in them and their needs."  However, it especially applies to a marriage. First and foremost, your spouse must be your friend. On July 17, 2000 I lost my best friend.  Because Anne was my best friend I am able to celebrate, not only our marriage, but the 53 years she was in my life. That is 67% of my life (so far). Oh my ... I have been blessed.

But in fact, Anne is still in my life, not just in the fact that I think of her every day, but because while she was with me she influenced my life and shaped it so that I grew and became a much more wise person than I had been in the early years. I would have been a much different person now if it were not for Anne ... her love, her faith, her wisdom, and yes, even her faults. When we were together I placed her on a pedestal. She was someone to be admired and honored, a cut far above the rest.  Sometimes that kept me from showing her the affection she also needed and that is my grievous fault and a major regret. Now, that pedestal is even taller and more grand. Sometime ago I bestowed upon Anne a title, "The Lady of my life". It is a royal title befitting nobility. Do I exaggerate? Not in my eyes. Is she an angel now? Well, although angelic, she is not. Angels by definition are separate and different creations of God and we don't become angels when we get to heaven. Is she a saint? I am sure she is. I don't need to witness her canonization to prove it. Thank you God for letting me have Anne in my life. You are soooooo goooood to me!

 

Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is the true prosperity. Eckhart Tolle The Power of Now . .

One more thought. I said that Anne changed me. This is a warning! A marriage is often destroyed when either partner tries to change the other. There was a little of that in our marriage and that caused some of the bumps. But, Anne changed me not by conscious intent but by just being herself, a positive influence, one who touched my life and by just being there she left me a better person. I just wanted to make that clear. And, by the way, that is the way we were intended to live,  just by our living to be a positive influence on everyone we meet. 

I am often overjoyed with my grandchildren and so proud of them, the things they do and the things they say. As time goes by, each one of them says or does something that enhances this feeling. The latest was found in a thank you note from Joe, my daughter's youngest. You just don't expect these sentiments from a young man and they lifted my heart another step. Thank you Joe. You add to my joy. These are the things that make life worth living.

Back to the more mundane. ... A trip was made to the Jewel Store to forage for a few food items. Not a great deal was needed and low and behold, my favorite salads were in stock. There is never a big stock and I took almost all that were there. They last a week so I went home with six of them. It was a perfect day and so many hours were invested within the gazebo with my Kindle where I was transported to the planet of Safehold and became engrossed in their problems and intrigue.

I sent another email to the New England Historic Genealogical Society reminding the director of research that I was following up on my eight day old previous inquiry about the project to find the identity of the parents of my 2nd great grandfather. This time Rhonda replied, letting me know that it was in the hands of a researcher who was on vacation this week. She promises to get back to me next week. Speaking of projects, my yard guy will be here tomorrow to plant the missing plant for which we have been waiting. That will complete the plantings along the back of the house. 

One of my friends sent an email about a remarkable story, one worth telling and knowing. However, the email version not only told just part of the story, but it was used in a negative way to attack someone else. Why ruin a good thing that way. I, of course needed to check to se if it was true and I found "Irena's Children". It is indeed a story of an "Ordinary person doing extraordinary things with faith in the good God and in the goodness of each other". Jolanta "Irena" Sendlerowa (Sendler) did very extraordinary things. Few of us would have her courage and love.

We are all but God's instruments who do our little bit and pass by. I believe that the way in which an act of kindness is done is as important as the action itself. ~ Mother Teresa . .

On Friday morning my house was a busy place. While I was having my coffee on the patio, Rick, of Mac's Lawnstyle, came by with the last of the plants for the back of the house and set it in place. He let me know that his lawn guys would be arriving shortly and they would plant it. He also said he would be sending a quote for more work that I had asked about. He no sooner left when Paul, of Pain Free Window Cleaning, arrived. His first task was to clean the accumulation of leaves and debris from the gutters. Once that was done he washed all my windows, inside and out. He applies a soapy water solution with a tool that looks like a squeegee but is made of cloth. He then uses a rubber squeegee to remove the soap solution. A rag is used only to wipe the squeegee and the frame around the glass. He leaves the windows sparkling and streak free.  While he was working, the lawn guys arrived. The planting was done in short order and the grass was cut, trimmed and the debris removed. When Paul left, he presented his bill. Amazingly, he has reduced his usual price for the excellent work he does. Paul is a local fireman who supplements his income, or enhances it, with his window cleaning business. He has a well equipped and maintained panel truck with the name of the business on it and is a another of the many people who make my "independent" living possible. But obviously, my living is anything but independent. I need, and get, a ton of help.

When I got to my computer I found the quote from Rick. The price was lower than I expected and I immediately responded with a "Go". Compared to the east side of my yard, the garden area and now the back of the house, the north fence look stark naked.  The quote read "Work to be done: Removal of existing sod along fence (as discussed, approx. 40 ft X 3 ft), Installation of Commercial Grade Landscape Edging, Installation of Layer of Fresh Top Soil, Installation of 5 Peony  Shrubs, Installation of 3 Holly Hock Shrubs, Installation of an Assortment of Poppies, Installation of Landscape Fabric, Installation of 3 inches Decorative Lava Stone." That work is beyond my capabilities and a lot more than I can expect my family, as willing as they may be, to accomplish for me. I envision, in the future, planting several Clematis vines along the fence to further enhance the look. I also would like to get several Chrysanthemums for the garden area to give some fall color. Those last things, with the help of my family, we can handle.

Obviously ...